I know how lucky i should have felt when I found out our IVF transfer was successful and that we were having a baby girl. Of course I was SO happy, but I was also unprepared to accept the reality that I was actually pregnant.
My IVF journey was long ( not long like some of my warrior friends) but as anyone who’s been through the process knows, it’s grueling on a physical level, puts pressure on relationships with loved ones as well as on yourself, and a whole slew of other things.
Because it was the middle of covid, I had a few hiccups that in my otherwise privileged world I would have been able to deal with. My diagnosis with Hashimoto’s disease, endometriosis and eventually a tumor the size of a grapefruit hanging off my left ovary (due to covid my surgery was postponed 4 months - so we had no idea on if it was benign or not - thank goodness it was benign and removed flawlessly) - made me shockingly aware of not only what we put in our bodies, but what we put on them- our skin aka our largest organ, and how important clean, not just “clean” but i mean actually CLEAN ingredients are for our health.
To shine and feel good on the outside, you need to feel it on the inside first….I remember looking at this picture after my husband took it and all I could think about was how disgusting I looked, how my once supple skin was now covered in malasma, dark spots and rough patches (not to mention the puffiness) and how I absolutely had no control over any of these changes - it took time, but once I was able to accept, I was able to address…..I know how shallow it sounds but i use to love my freckles and face and all of a sudden I wanted to cringe at the sight of myself when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror - i looked tired and old. Thus my personal skincare journey began on a different level and I haven’t looked back since. My skin has always been something I had complete control over, but as pregnancy and now motherhood is teaching me, let go, move on, and find beauty that works for you and you will shine. Sometimes we’ll all have our days where we feel off, or too lazy for a skin care “routine”, which is I like to think of mine as a ritual that takes you through a journey of fresh botanical garden scents and luxurious but light weight and dewy textures.
